A Life In Review

January 14th is cesarean awareness day. It is a day that celebrates the mamas who brought their babies into the world through the sunroof (that’s what someone called it for me once, and I LOVED that term). If you have had a c-section or think you might, just know that I am so proud of you. It is HARD and it can also be beautiful.

If you’ve been around a little bit, you know that my first c-section was a bit scary. They didn’t call it an emergency, but it was done at 31 weeks at 11:00 at night after 72 hours of failed labor. It was messy and scary and just traumatic. My second one though, it was technically planned (we still had him earlier than we meant to and didn’t make it to our scheduled date), but it was the most healing experience for me. Things were quiet and peaceful and I heard his cry and saw his squishy face and learned a LOT about c-sections and the recovery. I’m not sure what your background is, but this post will be for anyone. Whether this is your first or 5th, I want you to feel ready.

TW (Child loss, NICU baby/Premature Birth): There are two notes at the end to read if you did not or are not going to be bringing a baby home with you while you recover.

Things to Know:

• This is MAJOR surgery (look up what they cut through to get to the baby if you can stomach it). Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
• They will come in and push on your uterus hours after you have had major surgery and it doesn’t feel good.
• You will be up and walking 12 hours after you have the baby.
• You will immediately be asked whether you are breastfeeding so have an answer ready ahead of time (and it’s okay if you don’t want to, that doesn’t make you any less of a good mom).
• Since you’ll be numb from the chest (just about) down, you will have a catheter in. It will stay in for about 24 hours if all goes well (this surprised me, I had to have mine in longer the first time, but shorter the second time).
• Day 3 (ish) you will feel an emotional crash. Your hormones are doing something wild (you can look up the science). Be ready. It’s WILD and uncontrollable and there are tears and big feelings and they come out of no where, but that’s okay because your body is trying to regulate again.
• You are still going to have vaginal bleeding. I didn’t have a ton the first time, but the second time I was shocked. I wish someone had warned me though because I assumed that only happened if you had a vaginal delivery.
• People are going to criticize you no matter how you give birth, but this isn’t the EASY way out and don’t for one second think that it is, or that this will be easier than vaginal delivery. Also, if someone says that you didn’t deliver naturally, remind them that there is nothing natural about giving birth. It’s gross (LOL).

Tips/Tricks:

• If you are in pain ASK for meds. Do not wait for them to offer them.
• If something feels off, TELL THEM. It is your body and you know yourself.
• It really does help to get up and walk around, but listen to your body and TAKE IT EASY.
• If someone offers to help, SAY YES (that doesn’t mean they get to snuggle your baby though, let them help with food/laundry/dishes).
• Bring a dress to go home in. It sounds silly, but I didn’t want anything to touch my incision site ** (double check spelling)
• Pillows are your friend. Whether you’re laughing, sneezing, coughing, going to the bathroom or riding in the car, keep a pillow with you because it hurts and holding a pillow close does help ease the pain some (it varies per person how long you need this).
• Take poop pills (whether that is senna, dulcolax, Colace, fiber, etc) to help get yourself regular again and soften those poops!
• Take all of the pads and underwear that you can from the hospital. Those mesh undies are the best. You can also get more on Amazon if they cut you off.
• Be kind to yourself. That’s it. You deserve kindness. I hope you give it to yourself right now.

Products I used, or wish I had: ^{_{(I make a small commission on these links)}}

• Heating pad (they do not have these at the hospital, if they do, they’re weird and they suck)
• Frida Mom c-section recovery kit (expensive, but worth it in my opinion, I wish I had bought it).
• Bio Freeze (you cannot get this on your incision, but you can use it on your abdomen)
• Little Sleepies Pants (I don’t get commission, but I’m not kidding when I say that I finally caved and got some and these saved me the second time around with recovery so that I could wear pants sometimes) code: LSVIP will save you 15% at check out
• Boujee Pillow: If you can afford a more expensive pillow, grab this one, otherwise just grab a cheap one from Walmart or Target.
• Mesh Undies – These are my favorite.
• Colace – Trust me, you need this.

You can do this Mama. You get to hold your baby and recover and it’s all worth it I promise. I hope that things go so smoothly for you and that these tips genuinely aid in your healing and help ease your mind. My hope for you is that this is just a quick little blip in your motherhood journey and that you are able to move past it quickly and have as many (or as little) babies as you want. Congratulations!!

TWO IMPORTANT NOTES: (TW)

** A note for those healing without a baby: I SEE YOU. As I was writing this, I kept thinking about how much harder it is to recover while also grieving a loss. I have never experienced this first hand but have seen it and my heart was shattered. If this is you, then I am so sorry. I’m sorry that you have to recover in so many ways and that you have to put yourself back together. These tips hold true for you, but I want you to take extra time and give yourself extra grace.

** A note for those healing while traveling back and forth to the NICU: THIS IS HARD. The trauma is hard. You feel like you don’t have time to heal and be there for your baby. Mama, don’t feel guilty for sleeping or resting or taking pain meds and going to the hospital later. You HAVE to recover too. I’m sorry that this is your reality. I’m sorry that you can’t recover at home with your baby.