A Life In Review

It’s okay to skip church sometimes. There, I said it. Now before you write this post off as an anti-church, anti-Christian piece, hear me out. Until October of 2019 I only skipped church ONCE a year. On the one day a year I skipped, I felt extremely guilty (usually we were on vacation). The rest of the year whether I was sick, or tired, or had 5,000 things to do, I went to church. I believed that being a “church skipper” (what I used to call people who missed even one Sunday service), was a reason to be sent to Hell (which, to clarify, has NO Biblical validity).

Let me give you some background before I continue. When my husband and I started dating back in 2017, he and I had a conversation about church attendance. He told me that once a month he took a Sunday off and he would do something else (like sleep in, or go have breakfast with his dad). I was devastated (I know, pretty dramatic right?). How could I be with someone who skipped church sometimes? As our relationship grew (that’s right, I continued to date that church skipper), I decided that it was okay to skip church (NOT FOR ME, just for him) ONCE in a while.

Then came Georgia (our daughter). Throughout my whole pregnancy, even when I was throwing up, I went to church. I was absolutely miserable and I spent most of service trying to hold in vomit. I was just so set on being there. I was involved in ministry (and I had been part of Sunday service for about 10 years at that point). To say I was dedicated was an understatement. No matter what fell apart around me, or how tired I was (emotionally or spiritually), I showed up week after week.

There is nothing wrong with showing up of course, but there was something wrong with my heart. I tied my relationship with Jesus so heavily to my church (the building, the people, the leaders etc.). I felt that if I stepped away for even a moment, I would lose that relationship (both with the Lord and with His people) that I spent years building.

My body began to crash toward the end of pregnancy and in an instant I was hospitalized and MISSING CHURCH. In fact, after that day I would continue to miss church for some time. Over time some of my fears came true and relationships faltered, but not the one that mattered most. You see, Jesus was still there in the hospital. He was there when I came home without my baby. He was there when I skipped church to go to the NICU. He was there when we brought our daughter home and sheltered her. I wasn’t set on fire or banished to hell for skipping either. For the first time in over a decade I didn’t feel the pressure of the church weighing on me. I felt free to worship and free to feel my emotions on a Sunday morning. In a sense I was free.

Following our daughter coming home, we had begun to go back regularly and I was thrilled. I had my new mindset and I was no longer part of Sunday morning service. I just got to sit back and be a part of the congregation. In March, as you know, the world shut down and our church began to live stream. Since that day we have attended virtually. However, with my new found freedom, virtual Church was much easier to skip and I felt little to NO guilt. Which brings me to my warning.

Very quickly, a week of skipping can turn into a few weeks which can turn into a few months or more very easily (ask me how I know this…). Though I now believe that skipping church once in a while won’t send you straight to Hell, I do believe that you have to be careful. Jesus stays with you wherever you go, BUT you still have to choose to invite Him into your life. It’s much easier to do that when you are being shepherded by the church. When I skipped for a while, I could feel the enemy breathing on me like he was right behind me and the closer he got the more I knew I needed the church (and Jesus of course).

Fellowship with believers is so important (even if it’s virtual), but rest is also important. I believe that there needs to be balance. So you’re looking for permission, here it is. In the busiest season of life, take a Sunday. Sleep in (unless you have kids), make a big breakfast and choose rest. Jesus will meet you where you’re at, but come back and be with His people soon after (physically or virtually) because the enemy is always waiting.