A Life In Review

This week, it has officially been a year of quarantining. This week, it has been one year with masks and social distancing and loneliness. This week, it has been one year since the course of our lives were changed in an instant (or what felt like an instant), and I feel it.

I think most of us have aged a lot in the last year. We were told originally that we would quarantine for two weeks and then things would get back to normal. Two weeks turned into a month that turned into six months that turned into a year. I don’t see an end in sight, but I am not giving up hope either. It hasn’t been all bad. We’ve learned a lot this past year, some good things and some not so good things.

I really didn’t know how to go about this post, but I knew I wanted to write it because this past year will be in our children’s future history books. Before I continue, if you are someone who is going out with friends (even with masks), or going to church, or sports or groups or events, this post really isn’t for you. I see that the pandemic has taken a toll on you and you need to socialize, but this post is for those who have had little to no other human contact in a YEAR. It’s for those who have been forgotten and overlooked and left out all while trying to keep their families healthy and safe. **I do not include being an essential worker as someone who “goes out”, if you are essential you didn’t have a choice**

** ^{To be totally transparent, in the very beginning I didn’t take this pandemic seriously. I was more worried about my baby getting RSV or the Flu than this stupid virus. I was mad about masks and mad about being asked to stay away from church and my friends. When people started dying, I quit whining and started to make decisions (with my husband). We chose our key people (4 other adults in Connecticut and 5 in Virginia when we were staying there), and those are the people we stayed around. There have been a couple public appreances this year that I couldn’t avoid (my sister chose to get married this year, there was a death in the family, and we had lots of in person doctors appointments), but otherwise, the baby and I have hunkered down.}**

So here we are. The first thing I want to say is that I see you. I see you fighting for your family and for those around you. I see you making HUGE sacrifices for the good of others. I SEE you. I see you make the choice every day to stay in when all you want to do is go out and get a drink with your friends. I see your kids running at your feet begging to play with their friends because they don’t understand what’s going on. I SEE you. I see you working tirelessly at home while your spouse is at work risking their health and yours to provide for you in this trying time. I see you losing friends because you’re “overreacting”. I SEE you.

I want to go on and on, but like you, I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to hang onto friendships. I’m tired of explaining why I choose to keep my family safe. I’m tired of feeling guilty for watching church online and not in person. I’m tired of being asked “when do you think you’ll feel comfortable enough to go out and have fun again”, as if this is a bad hair cut Im trying to hide. I’m tired (and if you’re someone who is going out again and chose to continue reading this, I get that you’re tired too, but this is a different kind of tired).

Here’s the deal, I didn’t mean for this to be a 5 minute long redundant rant, I just have all of these feelings and only 4 adults to talk them through with (AND each of those adults has their own view on the pandemic). I feel the loneliness in my soul. I am in the group of pandemic peeps that have been “out of sight, out of mind” for a year now. I want this post to serve as a reminder that it will not be like this forever. I have no idea when life will open back up again, but I know that we have an army of scientists working hard to figure this out. The least I can do is sit back in my warm home and keep others safe, true lasting friendships will still be here when this is over.

One final reminder: “We are all in the same storm, but we are NOT all in the same boat” – unknown. If this post has struck a nerve, or if I’ve left you out, just try and remember that I’m not in your boat, so I can’t speak to your feelings, but in my boat, we are feeling big things.

Here you will find the CDC Guidelines. I implore you to just follow them and help us get through this.