A Life In Review

1 Star- Though breastfeeding is incredible, the hashtag/ term “Breast is Best” is overused and presumptuous. This term assumes that if you are not breastfeeding (whether by choice, or because you couldn’t) you are not providing the best for your baby. Breastfeeding provides so many positives for tiny people, but so does formula.

**Let me start by saying that I am not an expert lactation consultant, I am not a formula expert. I am a mom who did whatever research she could to make the best decision for my baby and my body.**

All throughout your pregnancy you are asked whether or not you are going to breastfeed. Doctors ask you, friends as you, and even STRANGERS ask you (never understood that one). Then if you say you will try, you are given 50 reasons why you absolutely need to breastfeed. No one cares what your feelings are on the matter. There is so much pressure put on you, even if you ARE choosing to breastfeed. It almost feels like a test of motherhood. It’s. Too. Much.

I was never given any facts on formula feeding before I had Georgia. I had to seek out the research myself. If I asked questions about it at the doctors office, the information always came with a “but breastfeeding is better”. Once you deliver, at least in my hospital, there’s already a breast pump in the room and a lactation consultant ready to give you all the research. If you say you aren’t ready they generously give you 5 whole minutes to get yourself ready. It’s overwhelming and stressful.

I was hesitant from the beginning, but I only shared my hesitations with my husband because I didn’t want the judgement. I am not a touchy feely kind of person. I do not like long hugs, or even sitting next to someone. Personal space is what I love. With breastfeeding, there is NO personal space. The baby is attached to you ALL. THE. TIME. It’s also so time consuming. If you aren’t breastfeeding, you are pumping. There is no break. There is no tapping out when you are tired. Now some mamas balance that by supplementing with formula, but it just wasn’t appealing to me.

The honest truth is that my milk came in. It was ready for the baby, but I chose my health over breastfeeding. I went back on medications that are helping to repair the damage that was done by pregnancy. They are not breastfeeding friendly. So I cried, and I hated my body because I could have breastfed. Looking back, I am so glad that I didn’t. It wouldn’t have been healthy for me. That might make me selfish, but I am a better mom because of my choice.

Georgia was (as you may already know) born prematurely. I decided that she needed a boost of antibodies and opted for donor milk (some incredible mom’s donate their unused breastmilk to the hospital). That kinda goes against what I’ve been saying, but when she was born I had “breast is best” in my head. I figured if I couldn’t provide for her, then at least someone else could. Then we weaned her off of breastmilk and put her on formula. Wanna know what happened (I’m going to tell you anyway)… she did fine. She continued to grow and gain weight. She wasn’t upset, she didn’t spit up, and her poop smelled just as bad as it did on breastmilk.

She has been on formula for about 5 months now and we are continuing to see improvement. I’m sure that there was a time when breastmilk was the best. Formula sucked. However, the formula makers (I don’t really know what their official title is) have worked hard and changed formula, making it just as beneficial for babies (you can do your own research). They have even created different calorie formulas for babies born prematurely (which is what Georgia is on), it helps beef them up and help them catch up to their peers.

Mama, you know your baby (it’s weird how the feelings are just there once the baby is born). Feed your baby in the way that works for you. I get to share the burden (yes it’s a burden she takes 45 min to an hour to take each bottle) of feeding the baby with my husband, because of my choice. Whether your baby is fed from the breast, through a tube or by a bottle, they are being nourished. So ENOUGH mom shaming with “Breast is Best”. Fed… FED is best. Feed those babies and watch them grow. Do what you need to do to function well as a mom for your child. It’s not selfish, it’s real life.