A Life In Review

3 Stars- This is a tough review, no matter which way you give birth, it’s gonna hurt. There is no way out of that. Either way, the baby is coming out. I’d give it 5 stars, but birth is expensive, recovery is painful and it’s a very vulnerable time. However, once it’s over things get a lot better.

There is too much pressure put on us at the moment of conception. You get asked so many different leading questions. “Are you going to breastfeed?” (more on that later), “Is your child going to be vaccinated?”, “Are you going to switch to all things organic”?” and my favorite question, “Do you plan to deliver “naturally”?”. What people really meant to ask was “are you delivering vaginally”. Things need to change. The stigma around C-Sections needs to change.

During my pregnancy, I decided against making a birth plan. I honestly didn’t care how the baby came out, as long as she was healthy. I know that there are moms who set their hopes high on vaginal delivery, but when I did some research, it seems that in the end getting the baby out safely was more important.

Though I had that mentality, the stigma was still there. When I failed (I hate using that word because I didn’t really fail) to deliver vaginally, I agreed to a C-Section. It was not as easy as everyone said it would be. Sure they numbed me, but I felt SO. MUCH. PRESSURE. Between the meds I was on and the pressure I spent most of my delivery throwing up and apologizing to Bryan for being such a baby about it (for some reason I thought I could make it through without crying).

Once things got going it all happened pretty quickly. I delivered at a teaching hospital meaning that there were students in the room. The surgeons were walking them through what was happening, so I just listened. When Georgia came out, we didn’t get to hear the traditional crying. She made a few squeaking sounds that let me know she was alive and then the baby people (not sure of their official titles) swooped in and took her to a neighboring room to make sure she was okay. We never got to see her that night. I never got to do skin to skin.

I was sewn back up and sent to recovery where I continued to be poked, prodded and pumped with meds. Recovery after that was rough. My body doesn’t react well to surgery (C-Sections are major abdominal surgery in case you were confused). The pain was intense, moving was intense, pooping was intense, but I was no less of a mother. My body was not able to survive a vaginal delivery and THAT’S OKAY. I am still just as much a woman as the mom who delivered in the next room.

When the hormones came flooding in, I remember crying over the fact that I was somehow less of a mother because I had to have my baby surgically removed. I was crushed that my body couldn’t do what it was naturally supposed to do. Only now, I realize that it did. I gave birth. I was just as strong as the moms who delivered vaginally. I was just as strong as the moms who did it without medication.

At some point, as women, we HAVE to stop calling a vaginal delivery the “natural” delivery. Honestly there is nothing natural about either delivery. Either delivery brings with it a ton of blood is spilled and gross stuff coming out of your body (whether it be mucus, poop, a placenta). I let society dictate my feelings and that took away from my birth experience. I won’t let that happen again.

I am done believing that there is one perfect way to deliver a baby. The perfect delivery, is the one that brings your baby into the world. I am just one person, but I am asking you to change the way you talk to other moms about this topic. Let them feel like they have options (because they do), and make sure that they feel supported no matter what they choose.

So here’s to the mamas who delivered vaginally, I commend you and here’s to the mamas that delivered via C-Section, I commend you as well. You did it. You created life inside of your body and you brought that life into the world. Finally, here’s to the mamas who went through the pain of delivery only to have a painful outcome. You are the strongest of us all.